How to Get to Where You Want to Be – The Right Way

Therefore, the Sage, by never dealing with great, accomplishes greatness. ~ Lao Tsu

We all have wishes and dreams.

Where we are is never quite satisfying.

We reach for something in our lives, and once it’s there, we might celebrate it for a short little while, enjoying the wish/dream coming true into our reality.

But then we get comfortable. We get used to this new reality, to that thing that once was so out of reach. This new thing that was once a highlight in our lives has become ordinary, it’s taken for granted and not satisfying any more.

We always want more.

We always strive for something even better.

Not that there is anything wrong with this.

It’s a good thing.

We’re like those little kids who get a present or want something “oh so very much” and are so excited to get it, to play with it, and to give it full enthusiastic attention for a little while.

But then we get used to it.

It’s not new anymore.

It’s not as exciting anymore.

It’s completely taken for granted and expected.

And we move on to something new.

We finds a new desire.

We pretty much accept this as kids.

But something changes and shifts in us when we grow up.

We seem to resist this path.

We rebel.

We want it NOW!

All of it!

We want to go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning a new person, with new habits, ​new thought patterns, new looks - like magic!

We create a world of black and white.

We judge ourselves for what we can’t create in the moment.

We condemn ourselves for not following through with resolutions that we made but didn’t keep.

We set goals that are high and mighty only to fail again and again, and we judge ourselves harsher and discourage ourselves with the title of “failure.”

In the land of instant gratification, we have created an expectation of instant changes.

We repeatedly refuse to wait and to practice (which means failing and trying again and again).

We seem to have completely forgotten that by saving a dollar a day, we end up with 365 dollars after one year.

Some things just take time.

When we plant a seed in the ground, do we ever come the next day and demand for it to be a full blooming flower?

Do we ever look at our babies and get upset with them because at the age of 2 they are still in need of diaper changing?

Nope. We enjoy the slow growth of our children and we change and learn new things slowly.

Yet we keep demanding ourselves to skip the natural evolution of change and growth. We need to somehow, miraculously, be able to get from where we are to where we want to go in an instant.

So we keep banging our heads on the wall of high expectations and harder demands on ourselves, and get caught by surprise when it hurts and doesn’t get us to where we want to be.

We keep doing the same thing expecting a different result.

Did you ever stop and think what it took for you to get to work today?

How many things had to happen so that you were able to get to work?

First, you had to wake up.

Then, you had to get up.

Then, you had to have the intention to get up and go to work today.​

Then, you had to get out of bed, walk to the bathroom (one step at a time), pee, wash your face, walk to your closet, get dressed (underwear, shirt, pants–each and every item had to be put on), and comb your hair (one stroke at a time)….

So many small tiny little things had to happen to get to work, and to get to this place right here, right now, reading this article.

With all due respect, it took God almighty six days to create the world. God. The almighty. SIX DAYS!

And he was so exhausted after those six days that he crashed down and did nothing for the seventh day!

And let’s face it, he did not create a perfect world!

So seriously, are you trying to compete with God and make instant changes in your life and be perfect?

God is not perfect.

You are not perfect.

We are all perfect imperfections!

We can choose to hate ourselves for that. Or, we can choose to take on the challenges in small portions and create a better life for ourselves while embracing all that is not perfect.

There’s another way, a much better way, to get the results that we want. And it’s a much easier way.

It might sound completely counter intuitive to everything that you know and believe.

But I promise you that if you will try it, you will be amazed at how easy and better it works.

Are you willing to try something a little different?

Are you willing to actually, literally achieve your goals and make a desire come true?

The first thing is to ask yourself this question: How much are you willing to risk to have your desire or wish, or whatever it is, in your life right now?

And next ask yourself, are you also willing to wait for it? Are you willing for it to become part of your reality sometime in the future?

Not a specific time. No deadline. No pressure or time limitation.

If you have managed to find a place to say yes to these two questions, then great! You are ready for the next steps…

Now, normally, this is where you start coming up with an action plan of how to make that thing that you want happen.

The problem is, you are making an action plan that is based on logic and the shortest way to achieve what you want.

You want it so much that you are making a decision to step outside of your comfort zone to do it, right???

Well, guess what. Whoever came up with that quote about going beyond/over/outside of your comfort zone was giving you only half the story.

It is true that many things we want feel as if they are way beyond what we believe is possible for us, and therefore, they seem to be outside of our comfort zone.

Trying to jump from our comfort zone all the way to beyond our comfort zone is way, way too far.

Doing that is like that cartoon animal who runs so fast he cannot see he has passed the edge of the cliff and he notices only now in midair just a split second before he falls down, down, down the cliff….

You know that feeling.

We decide to take action that feels so uncomfortable and so beyond our comfort zone that we end up either procrastinating over and over or we do it and get triggered so our emotions get the best of us and we end up blowing it one way or another. It ends up as a disaster and the scars from that stay with us for a long time…

My suggestion?

Aim closer!

Instead of trying to go beyond your comfort zone, start walking towards the EDGE of your comfort zone, where your feet can still feel the solid ground. Where you are feeling grounded enough and emotionally strong enough so that you can handle it with just enough courage and daring with a touch of excitement.

How do you do that?

Well, go back to your list of actions. I bet that almost every action you wrote on your list could be broken down into at least two separate actions. Smaller. Simpler.

Ask yourself: Is there anything in this list that I feel good about doing? That feels exciting? That feels daring and courageous with a touch of an adventure?

If not, break the action list down into smaller actions.

Find that thing that will feel new, exciting, adventurous, courageous, and not too risky that makes you feel curious… It can be as small as “I will remind myself each day that I can and will do it” or “I’ll just type in a Google search about it.”

It’s the smallest of actions, the smallest of steps that leads us towards the next step on safe ground that might still be new and a little scary but safe enough to take from the edge of our comfort zone.

How do I know it?

Because using this method, only in the past year, by stepping only into the edges of my comfort zone, taking tiny little steps and very small actions, one at a time, I have made miracles come into my reality beyond what I ever dreamt about.

Stay on the edge of your comfort zone

Some of which are:

  • Creating my website (And no, I knew nothing about how to when I started)
  • Creating my ChArt Your Life Course – How to make your dreams come true (Yes, I wrote and created a detailed, intricate, progressive 8 week curriculum)
  • Creating T-shirts with my slogans that are now selling all over the US and Canada (Yup, I had no idea how to make it happen when I started)
  • Creating wonderful renewed relationships with the people who are close to me
  • Buying my dream car (Small red golf with a sunroof)
  • Creating a Facebook page that now has 539 likes (looking forward to reaching 550 and then 600)
  • Giving my first elevator pitch presentation. (Phew, that first one was scary, my whole body was shaking. And Since then I continue to improve and becoming so much more comfortable with it)
  • Meeting wonderful new people
  • Creating my first video (see July’s blog)

And much, much more.

It took time and many small steps to create things I hard a hard time to believe that were possible.

And here I am, one blog article at a time brought me here, writing my 11th Blog post, on my own website, that is slowly growing, to an audience that is slowly growing...

So,

are you willing to change your old thought patterns and try something different?

Are you willing to invite your dreams into your reality with ease and joy?

Are you willing to take just a tiny little step towards the edge of your comfort zone?

I hope you are,

because all your wishes and dreams are waiting for you there….

AT THE EDGE OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE

MAKE IT HAPPEN

The possibilities are endless….

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