We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.
Focus! Our teachers told us to do this in school when we were having a hard time, but all we wanted to do was go out and play. Concentrate! they barked.
Focus! Said our parents as we grew up and started paving the way into our own adult life and career.
Focus! Our boss said when we found ourselves in a challenging place at work.
Whenever we reached a challenging place in life, we heard the same thing: Focus! Concentrate!
So we learned how to focus. And we learned how to concentrate…
…on all our problems.
We wake up in the morning, and immediately go into “solving” mode. All the challenges of the day ahead, all our problems from yesterday and all our life’s struggles greet us even before we open our eyes, and our mind focuses and concentrates on…
What went wrong?
All the reasons why they didn’t go right.
Our fear of failing.
We cling to our problems as though our lives depend on it.
Before creating Chart Your Life, I was walking around for a few years with the idea of starting this new business, but I was focused on all the reasons why not to do it.
The mountain of “problems” I focused on was a high one.
I didn’t have the money (Building a website is way too expensive!)
Who would register to my course and services? (No one is going to be interested!)
How will I market myself? (Ugh…again, too expensive!)
There are so many other people out there doing this; who is going to see me? (There is way too much competition out there…I better just lay low and hide.)
I will fail.
It’s a waste of time.
The list just went on and on and on…
Until I sat with myself and saw myself sitting high on top of my pile of “all the reasons why not,” surrounded by all my problems and challenges. I was focusing on them so hard that I could not see anything else but them.
I wondered if there was a different way to look at it all.
Maybe there is a way that it will be possible?
I really wanted to make it happen, but I also really didn’t know how.
I sat on my high impossible mountain, realizing the only way out was to climb down and let go of all the reasons and excuses of why I shouldn’t. I had to also slay the big No-You-Can’t monster.
I started excavating my mountain to find all the reasons why I should start saying yes…
I wiped my glasses clean from the dust of impossible to reveal and see what was possible.
And then a funny thing started to happen.
My days started to change.
I suddenly found quarters on the subway—lots of them!
I met new people that gave me great advice and directed me towards amazing tools I didn’t know existed.
My research became fruitful and I found great information that helped me.
New information was popping all around me through conversations with friends, overhearing conversations on the street / Subway / cafe.
It was like the world was conspiring to help me, giving me a gentle pushing nudge of support.
I started changing on the inside.
Something shifted, uplifted, and I felt lighter.
I became curious.
Open. Wanting. Allowing the possibility to be there.
A new world opened to me.
With a little research, a bunch of determination, a willingness to try and fail, and a willingness to find the way to what is possible, I found the excitement for all the possibilities.
It didn’t happen in one day.
But it slowly became possible
And then probable.
And then optional.
And then, I was able to make it happen.
When we let go of all the reasons why not, we unravel all the reasons why yes.
When we stop looking at the problem as the main focus of our lives, we can see all the wonderful things that are going right in our lives right now.
It’s what is right in our lives that leads us towards the next possibilities and what we want.
And when we see all the beautiful things that are in our lives right now, we can open up to inviting even more wonderful things.
Focusing on what is good in our lives doesn’t take away from our challenges or from wanting to improve our lives or seek change, even big change.
It actually opens us to see the solutions, to create the changes, and to face the challenges.
It gives us strength and opens our minds to think in different, more creative ways.
Focusing on all our problems, clinging to them, carrying them with us like heavy rocks in our minds and bodies, makes us feel too heavy in our feet to take any steps and too lost in the problem so we don’t know which direction to go in next. We feel incapable and that what we wish for is impossible, and our lives seem gloomy and dreary, with no way out.
Are you willing to let go of that?
Are you willing to try something new?
Are you ready to see and feel some really wonderful things in your life?
Are you willing to appreciate and enjoy what is right here and right now, on your way to your there?
Can you start making a list of the good things that are going right in your life right now?
Even the smallest things – value them. Because they are part of your now and part of the big picture of our life.
Here’s an example of what is going great in my life right now:
* I’m writing a blog post on my very own website (blog # 12 – Wow, a full year!).
* I’m indoors shielded from the cold and the wind outside.
* The skies were beautiful today at sunset.
* I’m enjoying my ever changing-for-the-better relationships in my life.
What is going on well, good and right in your life right now?
What went well, or great, or nice during your day today?
How do you feel answering these questions?
Does it feel better and lighter and nicer than focusing on everything that is going wrong in your life?
The choice is ours.
What we focus on in our lives is what our lives will be and feel for us.
What we focus on will bring us down or rise us high.
What we focus on is what we experience.
How would you like to experience your life?
Hocus Pocus — It’s all in our own choice of focus…
Sign up to Monthly Newsletter